Family Interactions

I love to watch our soccer coaching, Sports Center addicted, video game playing son enter the family scene at Christmas. Believe it or not, Uncle Bryan sat down on at child's small chair at Little Stuff's small table, and thoroughly engaged in creating Play Doh constructions with her. Nothing seemed beneath him; the two loved working together on what she considered important. Deference, an old fashioned word, has gone out of fashion, unfortunately. We can graciously defer to another out of duty or delight. Bryan delighted in time spent with his niece. How do I know?

Later the same day, as bedtime closed in on the 2 1/2/ year old, I watched Uncle Bryan crawl into Little Stuff's big girl bed and allow her to bury him in a ton of her favorite stuffed animals. Once ensconced in the animals, he then drew and colored with her until time for prayers, songs, hugs and kisses. Each time he pretended to sleep, he heard a strong voice command, "Uncle Bryan, Uncle Bryan," repeated multiple times. His eyes popped open and she squealed with sheer delight over the game. When the extended family can gather together, not an every year occurence, we like to play and spend time together.

Watching this scenario, I thought about the Lord and the way He condescended to do more than play with us. He came to give His called ones not just time and laughs; He came to sacrifice Himself for them. To miss the Christmas to Easter connection diminishes Christmas and allows it to degenerate into a sweet time of family togetherness and cookie giving to the neighbors and the mailman. Listen to so many of the Christmas specials and you hear the "Be nicer to people," or "Play it forward" mantras. While a display of kindness is a plus at any time, Christmas conveys so much more. Uncle Bryan may sacrifice some time and engage in childish play, but the God of the universe stooped to take on human flesh, live a sinless life, and die in my place. Now that's Christmas, and that's what we celebrate!

Family Heritage

One of my favorite parts of this Christmas season will be watching the interplay among the three generations that will gather together in Augusta, GA. Oh, yes, 10 adults, two preschoolers and two dogs will create scenes of chaos, but when all the adults know and serve the Lord, there is "joy unspeakable and full of glory," as the apostle Paul writes. Here, Santa Granpa, Brent and our granddaughter share bedtime stories together. The routine that follows in her bedroom involves saying prayers, singing "This Little Light of Mine," and "Mary Had a Little Lamb," and giving hugs and kissess all around. Ask Little Stuff what Christmas is all about and she responds, "It's Jesus' birthday." After that her lights go out, the music of her sea turtle begins and we all slip out of her room.

Years ago, when I studied Isaiah, I chose a verse for our family. “As for me, this is my covenant with them,” says the LORD. “My Spirit, who is on you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will not depart from your mouth, or from the mouths of your children, or from the mouths of their descendants from this time on and forever,' says the LORD." Isaiah 59:21. Whether you have Christians in your genealogy for generations or are a first generation believer yourself, latch onto this verse for 2010 and then share your faith -- by the way you live more than by a penchant to inject a verse into every conversation. Pray that the Lord will call each one in your family to a personal faith in Jesus Christ, a relationship that will change theri life forver.

Fear and Wonder

"Don't feel hurt, " my daughter-in-law told Dave. "When your granddaughter saw an off-duty Santa at Sam's Club, she was like white on rice hangin' on to my Mom." The two-year-old registered pure terror then, despite the Santa's efforts to engage her in friendly conversation. The blue-eyed toddler stole glances and kept asking her Mommy,"Where he go?" And before the shopping ended, she did say "Merry Christmas" to him.  Thus, Dave remained optimistic: after all, this Santa was her Granpa. The red suit, spats, hat and glasses came from a costume company, but the smile, voice and beard would be 100% Granpa. Dave and I arrived in Statesboro on Thursday afternoon, and Granpa tried on the outfit then because he planned to play Santa at two daycares on Friday, one being hers! "Daddy, No, I no like him!"  Not exactly a rave review!

Dave loves kids and moved slowly the next day when his granddaughter, frightened and crying, clung to Nanny Scarlet. Smart Granpa talked and then began to play ball with the four toddlers there, winning their trust and then handing out their gifts. As the picture explains, the fear turned to wonder and love.

I think about the shepherds, ones we consider highly favored to have received the sky-shattering birth announcement of the Christ child. "They were sore afraid," says the KJV; the NIV translates that "They were terrified." As I face a righteous God as presented in the law, terror fills me too. Only when He condescends to demonstrate His grace and mercy, does my fear turn to wonder.

Over the Rainbow

Years ago Judy Garland belted out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" in the movie version of The Wizard of Oz. What a voice and what an expression of wanting to go where we are not. The longing for what we do not yet possess drives so much of our fallen nature at this time of year. Do I really act like I will find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Ludicrous, I say, but I can fall into the trap. Have you exercised control as you shopped for gifts in late November, only to reach for the credit cards now and dash into the malls in a spending frenzy? While this doesn't describe me this year, thankfully. it certainly has in years past. The apostle, Paul, writing in Philippians, says, "for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

I often return to the Puritan book The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs. The ideas presented there help balance me, reestablish biblical equilibrium. "A godly heart enjoys much of God in everything he has, and knows how to make up all wants in God Himself."  How can something stated so simply carry such deep meaning? It allows for fun (The Puritans have gotten such a bad rep thanks to The Scarlet Letter and The Crucible) in all the good things God provides, and yet teaches us how to meet life's gravest hurts. So my Santa husband can pose next to our pastor's daughter right after the curtain came down on her as Dorothy in Southern High School's production of The Wizard of Oz. Christians can rejoice in Advent without slipping into the excesses that often mar the season. How? By seeing the tender babe in Bethlehem also as the suffering Savior who goes to the cross on our behalf.  Connect Christmas and Easter to find the contentment and joy of Christmas.

Strength for the Season

What if Christmas comes and your world has recently fallen apart? I try to remember that not everyone gets all excited and happy about this season. Illness, financial devastation, job layoffs, or personal disappointments come without regard to the calendar's date. Despite rereading the Christmas story in Luke 2, your "inside your head" world lacks the joy, peace and love spoken of in this passage.

Since King David's life spiraled out of control several times, his psalms often capture the angst of the heart. Reading Psalm 20 and Psalm 25 can provide a larger perspective on life, even in the midst of grave difficulties at this time of year. "May the Lord answer you when you are in distress, may the name of the God of Jacob protect you." This opening verse meets my desire to be heard and protected. I sense that the God of the universe cares for me, knows my circumstances, and can offer me safety. The psalm continues with reminders of who the sovereign God is. By verse 7, the psalmist affirms his hope: "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

Psalm 25 reminds me of God's reigning authority and my sinfulness. I have, when I assess the situation honestly, had a part in virtually any terrible situation. Even if someone has sinned against me, I may now harbor anger, or guilt that is wrong. I need to confess. Beginning with a biblically sound attitude, King David says, "Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your grace and mercy and love for they are from of old." Begin by acknowledging who God is and requesting His viewpoint. Add a dose of humility by reciting verse 9: " He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way." Finally, the man after God's own heart concludes, "Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me because my hope is in you."

By reading these psalms several times a day, we massage the truths into our system. Remember that the Jews memorized Scripture. Reciting the psalms anchored people when the world around them fell apart. Today we snap up a sound bite and move on. But if the Word is to give birth to changes from the inside of us, ruminating on the words must occur in our minds and hearts throughout the day.

Snow's Serenity

Snow falls insulate the world, creating a quiet we do not experience at other times. This picture, taken from our front porch around 7 AM Sunday, captures the pristine beauty of the sun coming over our woods. Since the thermometer registered 16 degrees, Dave took the picture. The photo, however, cannot convey the haunting sounds of the wind chimes as the breeze keeps them in almost constant motion. Something about snow slows me down, causes me to listen more carefully. That's probably good since the sermon series currently deals with a biblical look at many psychological tags used in our culture. The series, entitled "Battling Unbelief," has, thus far, looked at the scriptural side of anxiety, pride and shame. Although these are valid emotions, Americans are often too quick to proclaim an "it's-not-my-fault" position without seeking a biblical lens. When did we let psychology access the soul without any consultation with the Great Physician?

Far too long Christians have defined belief as merely a cerebral agreement with facts. Our pastor says that belief is "mainly an appetite in the heart which fastens on Jesus for satisfaction." If we don't fasten on Jesus, we manufacture idols that quickly own us. Our unbelief occurs when we turn away from Jesus to find satisfaction somewhere else or in someone else. In the case of anxiety, I may be my own worst enemy. Have I gotten myself in over my head financially, emotionally, or with commitments outside my home or at the office? Then the cause of my anxiety lies within  my grasp to change. Ah, but to lower my anxiety, I may have to admit my shortcomings. That snowballs headlong into my pride. When I can't perform all the things I promised to do, I experience a sense of shame. Can you see why this sermon series has my attention? The root I have to examine is not a psychological one, but rather, an examination that tests the depth of my appetite for God. I often find the fight for humility is the fight of faith. The apostle Paul reminds me to "fight the good fight," so I will continue to use these snowy. blustery days to meditate on battling unbelief: anxiety, pride, and shame.

Welcome to the Neighborhood

Dave and I spent Thanksgiving in Georgia with family and had the opportunity to see Brent and Becky begin to decorate their home for Christmas. The kids live in a new development where they enjoy their neighbors. A couple across the street has two girls, 4 and 9 months, so the girls formed a friendship as did their parents. On Friday evening our daughter-in-law introduced Little Stuff to a "seasonal member" in their neighbor hood--Mr. Penguin. "Glad to know ya. Mr. Penguin. Merry Christmas," the two-year-old said in greeting. The inflatable, lighted lawn bird really captured the toddler's attention, so much so that she gave him a big hug before coming inside for dinner. Watching Little Stuff, I began thinking about neighbors.

We now build back decks and not front porches. In the suburbs we jump into the car at o'dark hundred, battle the commute, work long hours in cubicles, and often bring work home at night. Once we're through the front door, we close it, hunker down for the night, and repeat the pattern the next day. The weekends overflow with errands, sports, and church. We have neighbors, but "Who is my neighbor?" is not simply a question for Bible times. Jesus told us the two great commandments: to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and strength, and to love our neighbors as oursleves. We have no problem loving ourselves; we do that on autopilot! But in what ways do I love my neighbor?

We now live on Winding Ridge, a development -- and I use that word lightly -- of about 15 homes. Seven of us live here year round; the others have vacation homes here. At the annual association  meeting, we gather together for a shared meal and a business meeting. I actually know more of my neighbors here than I did when I lived near Annapolis. Within the last three weeks, 5 of us have gathered for spur-of-the-moment dinners together. I like that and find it a simple way of getting to know our neighbors. So I find myself thankful for Little Stuff's exuberance over Mr. Penguin because it jostled my thinking.

Perform the Rests

Any serious musician learns to "perform the rests," as one of my choral directors taught me years ago. As important as paying attention to the dynamic markings, maintaining proper pitch and keeping the tempo are, ignoring the rests mars any performance. And this is performance weekend for the Garrett County Choral Society, so the Christmas music we have prepared this fall will finally have an audience of folks on this second weekend of Advent. The singers have given much attention to the louds and softs, staying on pitch, and not slowing the director's tempo. But will we watch her closely enough to perform the rests? Paying attention to the rests makes the difference between an OK and an excellent concert.

With each passing year, I have a greater sense of performing the rests in the Advent season...and not just musically speaking. Not every Christmas cookie must find its way to the cookie tray; not all the rooms need Christmas decorations; not every card must be mailed by December 20th. The tyranny of the urgent destroys the sense of wonder that surrounds the incarnation. We can crowd in enough activities to merit Martha Stewart's notice, yet miss the essence of the Word made flesh.  An evening spent sharing a serendipitious meal with the neighbors, a nap to regenerate my own body, or a Messiah CD and prayer from Valley of Vision can't happen unless I perform the rests during Advent. When the social calendar shows almost every night booked with activities, decorating, cooking, and shopping, the metronome swings with the frantic pace know as the holiday season. A lively tune, the holiday celebrations may hit all the right notes, but I wonder if there would be less January depression if we performed the rests before December 25th. Wishing you a rest-filled Advent.

Music and Advent

I don't know when I first sang; I only know that singing fills me with joy. And harmonies, especially in the tight chords, give me chills. Music truly communicates in ways that touch the soul. Part of the Christmas concert for the Garrett County Choral Society will include the 1991 song, "Mary, Did You Know?" The deity of Christ leaps from the words of this song, revealing acts in the baby's future that Mary, the teenage girl chosen to bear the Christ child, could never have imagined. Yes, He would one day "walk on water, save our sons and daughters, give sight to the blind, calm a storm with His hand." This Jesus would gain a huge following for the miracles He performed. However, the lyrics then make a play on words that some find offensive. "This  Child that you delivered will soon deliver you." Now Jesus steps out! Others may have startled the world with slight of hand miracles, but Jesus' claims far exceed any miracle worker."When you kiss your little baby you have kissed the face of God," and "The sleeping child you're holding is the Great 'I Am!'" I want the truth of these words to seep into every fiber of my being. Why? Because the truth conveyed changes lives from the inside out. Not just a behavioral change, but a heart change that destroys favored idols in me and allows me to bring glory to God.

I've also listened to Michael Card's The Promise today and asked for the Lord to allow me a deeper vision of Christ this Advent season. "As a sign to you, the one born today will be wrapped in rags, asleep on the hay," sings Card. The lowly shepherds got a spectacular birth announcement and sought this babe, but the vast majority in the world slept on that night. In so many ways, our world, desperate to be relevant, universal and non-judgmental, sleeps also. But we who call Him Lord also can miss the mystery of the incarnation. We decoraate, buy, feast, and scurry through Advent, worried that we will not get it all done. Somewhere, everywhere in the bustling activity, we miss the time to prepare ourselves for the amazement of God with us, Immanuel. "If God is with us, who could stand against us?" "There is no height nor depth that can ever separate us from the love of Christ." If that's Christmas ho-hum, I haven't paused to look afresh at marvelous news of Chritmas.

Then tonight a group of women from church gathered here to watch the DVD of Paige Benton Brown talking about what we must tell the next generation. Paige pleads with her listeners to really see all that Christ is-- His power, majesty, and love for us as His called children. I don't need a new idea for a gift, another recipe to dazzle the family, a two-week diet to shed pounds before the feasting begins, or a change in my circumstances. In Jesus, Immanuel, I have everything; without Him, I have nothing. May the star's light of Christmas stop me right over that humble stable so I can fasten my eyes upon the promise named Jesus. I want to hear and sing the music of Christmas with a deeper view of the Child of Promise. May this Advent give us all the time to look at the sleeping baby who is the Son of God.